sToP 4 a while.....

i've ad got a nice bf which always argue v me..... i hate dat... n i really feel annoyed..... but now... i really wish i m single..... at least i wont do sthg sorry to him.... im not ordinary at all.... im not simple.. im so much like a devil.. a bad bad gurl... aft i be v him.. im not who im... i bcome someone dat always depending on him..... who m i who used to b??? im daring... independent!!!! im strong.... no tearing more thn 2 times a year!!! i really feel like give up my life now.... im 20.. n i own nothg..... nothg..... william.... will you 4give me if i say i dont wanna continue this relationship???? will you??? im tired.... i noe u do.... u r tired too... dont carry the burden on ur shoulders... it's heavy.... n depressed.... i dont need a man..... i enjoy the life dat i can flirt around... play around... like a freely bird.... dats wat i was.... i miss my life.... im tired of being blame n looking at ur colour to b who im... i wanted to break up.... but sthg holding me... im not cruel.... but i love u.... can some1 help me???? my life is so complicated... n messy.... im hopeless....

life

working at starbucks... i really learn bout life.... it's actually kinda tough.... i've got scolding.. i cried.... im so in bad luck.. ouch~~~
somehow... i felt like i dont wanna stay in this bloody world... im feeling empty... floating.. haihzzz..
well... me n my ss relationship back to status quo 'though'... hope it'll remain....
din noe y come i always back to my past.. bout d guys around me last time... i was so free... floated in the romance environment..... danced in the middle of the circle... spinning... flirting...... LOL.... didnt worry bout money.... coz wat i wanted... ppl will buy it 4 me... dats life....... n now..... hahaha... doesnt seem like wat i've got......

now... i've got william by my side... hopefully i din choose the wrong guy... he love me..... n i noe..... im so selfish n greedy till i wanted more..... hmmm.... more....

其实还爱你

我讨厌阴天的风
冷得那么刺痛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞
昨天的风筝在角落
被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由
每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱
其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你
-lyrics fr P.I.R-


dont noe whether the 1 i used to love wil hav any responds listening v this song..
i dreamed of eric last nite.... he grab me back fr william.... im wondering if dats in reality.... who i will choose... coz in the dream... eric do really giv me a view of he do appreciate me... trying hard to find me.. bought me a jewery and asked me to marry him.... argh! nonsense... dat wouldnt b him....
my darling william.... im lost.... u do love me n yes i noe.... it seems like every1 wont appreciate wateva they have had until they lost them..... T.T i love u.... i hope this scene wont appear in my life.... i dont wanna make any decision... all are confusing me.... confusing u....

SS hates me i hate SS

aaww.. it's been a while i never update bout myself over here.. ah nah!! aft exam busy nie ya~!!!

went to kl v my bf... n we really enjoyed....

currently... im working as a barista in starbucks jusco... so far.... masih boleh tahan la..... i like the environment over there... gonna really use to v ppl there n oso my duties.. T.T till now... certain thgs i still kinda weak n slow to catch up.... m i stupid?....

somehow.... i wish i doesnt noe my ss b4... at least i wont feel so sad whn he being so strict to me.. it makes me feel so awkward.... i really try my best to treat him good n speechlessly.... he didnt.... so cruel... long story... n actually.. dat ss is a guy dat i used to fall in love v him.... hopelessly... he do hav a gf v him... n aft he knew dat i like him.... he dump me aside.... trying to use all the excuses dat he had to avoid seeing me.... n aft a while... whn i ad got my bf which is now my ex.... he came to me n wanted to b v me... i tot of accepting him dat time but whn i refreshed the dark side of him... i really wanted to cry out loud.... it's the same... he wont appreciate me.... he also will dump me one day as i noe dat dat time he juz broke up v her gal.... he is juz using me... it's a replacement... i hate this.... he want me not bcoz of he really love me.... n so.. dat time i never giv an answer...

till thn.... i got my bf... living happily together.... v william... i feel d saftiness.. so comfy.. n at least i dont need to ask myself whether he love me anot.... coz i already knew.... he does!! he loves me... everythg i want he'll give me... although sometimes he cant afford to... but he tried his best to give me everythg i want... dats the guy i wanted n waited so long ago... n i noe not every1 is perfect.. my bf isnt rich enough... isnt good in his edu n stuff.. younger thn me n all..... aih!!! juz a lil bit... a lil bit.... ehmm ehmm... i shall thank god 4 dat though....

SS!!!!! i hate u~~~!!!! y r u purposely giving me stress n purposely make me down thn whn u see me down u come n cheer me up!!! n y whn im really in the mood n u screw my mood?? to you... im really disappointed... i ad tried my best to make ur day... n i scare u isnt really happy whn u noe im good v my bf... i really scare of u... im sorry... although somehow i does miss holding ur hand together n lepak the whole jusco... T.T
this i need to say sorry to my boy... but honestly... aft i met him... i really tot of those days... mayb it's juz a part of my memories.... dont worry william.. i will still love u....

aawww... hope dat he can treat me like a friend.. a better friend... i dont mean to b pissed n sad... merely cry juz now.... n i keep consoled myself dat i dont really und ur stand as a ss.... but... could u plz also dont hurt my feeling??? n talk to me aft i did sthg dat u dont really wanna c??? im a gal..... not u..... it's not funny 4 me... not at all playing me a fool over there.... i noe u take everythg serious... but so do i...... i juz smile n calm myself whnever talk seriously n want me to b serious... im trying to calm my stress.. i dont want u to think dat im playing around... im not u..... u looked serious but i din like dat.... argh!!!!

ExAmzz....

ever since i stepped into f6... someone would have told me time flies... i didnt tend to bother bout wat he says coz i never believe it... until i sit 4 my last 'important' paper for my stpm.. i get to noe dat it's d fact... time actually 'flew' away without any1 notices...


well... stpm... it's vy tough... aft taking the exam i really feel like kicking the bucket... man... compare to my trial exam... stpm is 100% tougher thn it.... screwed my chem... i screwed my maths.... gosh... i really doesnt noe wat i can do now.... mayb.. working is my aim now... i noe dat degree is vy important 4 every1 nowadays.... somehow... studies doesnt seems wat i wanted to do.... im so lost... hey there....!!! where m i??????





T.T


so lost.....


so depressed....


sorry to all my teachers...


sorry to my parents...


finally sorry to myself.... my future....


all becoming sucky n suckier....

>>>>>>>>>compressed<<<<<<<<<<<

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>compressed<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

..........im becoming smaller n smaller to every1...........

PhEw!!

finally.... the concert is over... well... not much to tell here bout the concern.. i juz knew i screwed my performance... argh~~!! thank god zi ming was trying to match v me.... phew.... overall.... no big deal..... but the truth is.... i m damn hot n pretty n rock n WＯＷ dat nite.... every1 was looking at me... some teachers praised me.... dat feeling is..... hahaha.... perfect!!
man i think i've gotthe sickness of self-admiration.. LOL!

ma sista having chickenpox!!! gotta stay away fr her... n so i cant on9 too often rite now... will b staying in my granny's house 4 1 month...... gosh~~~ wats frightening me is...... exam is coming~~!!! vyvyvy soon~~~~
cant wait to finish up my STPM~~!! n thn i can spend more time in doing wat i wanna do....

unexpectedly

wat a wonderful day 4 me.....
yuuuppp!!! i use the word WONDERFUL!!!
kkk... tell u secretly... i skipped sch today....
u dont believe it???? haha... yea.... this is so not me rite???
but yea... this is me.... finally i've done sthg i will never do all these years.. wat to do? i muz break my record 4 being naughty n crazy 4 my last year in 'secondary sch'....
haha....
yup!!! i had fun v tzelih all the way fr seremban to pd, in pd, n all the way fr pd to seremban.... wow... he is juz good.... a nice person to chill out v.... he's damn crazy man.. juz like me..
tze lih... this philipine maid had been my ah mat 4 the whole morning... n he's my tour guide n we traveled P.D.... man~!!!! love P.D beach!!!!! the blue sea... blue sky... white clouds... white sands...
omg!!!!

he brought me to his sch at 1st.... scared me he said i gonna act as his cousin to get his report card... phew... thank god he didnt get his report card.. lol.. oh yea... his sch having canteen day... nothg much but his sch is huge~~
out fr sch... we went to some beaches....
3 favourite spots 4 him... the place he brought me to is kinda like a secret to every1.... n there's really awesome!!!!
we went to a resort.... hmmm.. beautiful.. n tzelih.. this fella.. damn crazy man i tell u... my friends wont do such lame n crazy stuff like he did today morning... my god... we went in to the kid's room... it's actually 4 the kid to have fun there.... v alot of balls.... how i wish i juz can b like a kid n play inside the room.... n dat room normally they wont allow big guys like us to get in... but v juz did... naughty tzelih played v the balls there...
oh yea.. v played pool... n omg... i lose 99.... T.T
the whether in P.D is damn hot~!!! i think the worker in the resort did gav us a strange glance... we were odd btw..... sitting under the trees... doing nothg.... looking at the sky... experiencing nature... cool!!!
there.. back to sch... in the car.. i think my maid planned to play a few songs.. but.. hoho.. he is juz too shy~~~~
wakakka....
n guess wat??? we'd listen to 'LOVE SONG' fr sarah bareilies for 4 times!!! juz in the few hours we'd listen to it for 4 times.... dat song is special.. 4 us... it started since..... erh.... the day he visit my friendster profile????

this is my history.... n will remain 4eva.... taking risk v tze lih on 2nd july wednesday.....
oh yea.... tzelih.. is a nice guy to chilling out v... a freak!!! guy boy who watch gossip girl.... wakaka.... nah... overall.. he is a good boy..... really~!!!
thanks tze lih!!! =P

hullo everybadey....

yo ppl~~!!! im..... a newbie~~~~~ tadaa...... ISABELLE WENDY LM WENYI~!!!!
this is my new blog... new life... new me~!!! lalala.....
duh... sound so lame... well.. dats me.... im.. LAME.. but im hot... im wow~~ i can go psycho till ppl cant stand 4 it.... GRAAaaahhhhahhhh!!!!!!